Feedback is a gift

Secret Weapon #003

25 March 2025

All of us have things we’re good at and things we could be doing better. To keep improving we need to put in time and effort – and to direct this efficiently we need feedback.

Giving feedback can be daunting, and receiving feedback isn’t always easy either. The good news is that giving and receiving feedback well are skills that can be learned – and with regular practice people quickly get better at both.

There are lots of feedback frameworks out there. The one I like best is also one of the simplest, and it has the following structure:

1. State an objective fact you observed
2. Tell the other person how it made you feel
3. Give an actionable recommendation

Sticking to facts and the impact they had on you grounds the conversation, and avoids you speculating about the other person’s situation or motivations. And giving someone a concrete suggestion is much better than leaving them guessing about how you think they could improve.

This framework is universal. You can (and should!) use it to tell people what they are doing well, and not just when there’s something you think they should work on.

There are some good rules for receiving feedback too:

1. Listen carefully
2. Ask questions to confirm your understanding
3. Say “thank you”

The most important thing is to make giving timely, meaningful feedback part of your usual routine. The same goes for receiving, so if you’re not getting the feedback you need then don’t be shy about asking for it!