Trump is Bowser
25 August 2017
One is a childish would-be dictator who will do anything to get what he wants. The other is a giant fictional turtle.
The brightest minds on the planet have spilled countless gallons of digital ink trying to understand what’s going on in Donald Trump’s head. What does he believe? Why does he say the things he does? Is he deliberately trying to destroy democracy, or is this just a side effect of the shambles that passes for his administration?
For the longest time I couldn’t figure it out either, but then it dawned on me.
The President of the United States of America thinks that he is Bowser.
It all makes sense now.
1. The misogyny
Bowser seems to think he has the right to touch women without their permission, whenever he wants.
See: Super Mario World
2. The golf
Bowser is very rude to his fellow players and often gets into fights. He has the longest hit ratio of all the characters, but also has the lowest control.
3. The Russians
Zangief, you are Bad Guy, but this does not mean you are bad guy.
See: Wreck-It Ralph
4. The pistons
Bowser’s kart is the heaviest available. Acceleration and handling are terrible, but it’s great for barging other players out of the way.
See: Super Mario Kart
5. The nepotism
Every Koopaling works for Bowser. Perks include each getting their very own castle.
See: Super Mario Bros. 3
6. The wrestling
Bowser loves to brawl, and has a special arena just for fighting in.
See: Super Mario 64
7. The evil glances
8. The hangers-on
Bowser once offered to help a scared Koopa, but ended up turning him into a frog.
See: Mario Party 2
9. The tantrums
Bowser was livid not to be invited to Mario’s party, so he built Bowser’s Tower and filled it with minigames where he’s the boss.
10. The betrayal
Bowser works closely with Ganon to run the Subspace Army, though in truth he dislikes him and prefers Master Hand.